Coughing Burns Calories! Bring on the Pizza!

I cannot deny that it has been quite awhile since we last posted...we've both been dealing with the sickness that's going around.  Samm and I may be in different parts of the country, but our lives often correlate.  Amazing how we always manage to do that, but here we are and both of us have been sick for a week or more.

I have managed to forget about weight loss during this time, though I have kept an eye on my weight.  I'm staying strong at 166 - I guess my body has established a plateau of some sort.  I've been eating whatever my appetite has instructed...I'm not about to deny it pizza if that is what it wants.  I'm sick!  That's my excuse!  I already ate an apple and some orange juice today, so that is more than enough to make up for it.  Right?  Right!

I've never been one of those people who come back from being sick and are down ten pounds.  One of my good friends in high school had mono for a ridiculously long time our junior or sophmore year.  It went on for definitely a month.  I can't say I wasn't jealous.  To not have an appetite would be such a relief. 

I've always thought of the people who lose weight while being sick as the lucky ones.  I could be exploding for a week long and the scale will not quiver in the least.  The number will not change easily in either direction...maybe that's because I am still eating and allow myself the freedom of choice...
Ice cream for dinner?  Why not?  I'm sick!  Never ending shrimp?  Why not?!  I'm sick!  It's the perfect excuse to indulge. 

Oh!  Gotta go!  The pizza's here!

Spandex for $145.00! How Tracy Has Lost Her Mind in a Big 80s Way

I heard that Tracy Anderson was going to have a online chat session today on a Metamorphosis forum to answer questions from the masses about the program.  Out of curiousity, I went to the Metamorphosis website and began looking for the forum.  As always, I got sidetracked with other fancy links and saw that she was selling a few items of apparrel.  This is my finding.

$145.00

REALLY?  Perhaps she is a bit out of touch with economics.  Perhaps they are made of mysterious fibers that remove cellulite?  No...they are made of polymaid and spandex.  Also, aren't they a bit Big 80s in design?...I think I remember WWF wrestlers like Macho Man or The Hulk wearing similarly patterned pants, but what do I know about fashion?  Then I found this.

$25.99

80s Heavy Metal Rocker Halloween Costume

Includes:  Not only the pants, but also 2 scarves and a necktie

Proof positive that I haven't lost my mind...they are Big 80s and overpriced.  Just sayin'.  Not to mention that the Halloween hot pants cover the entirety of both legs instead of only upper legs, hence using more fabric.  It's all about value, people...

Though I'm willing to bet that at Kmart stores around the country there are random pairs of pants similar to this that have been in circulation on the clearance racks since the 80s that no one wants to buy.  They may be the running store joke and are priced for $.80.  The cashiers are waiting for a person to bring them up to the counter so they may all cheer out loudly and laugh wildly as the lucky buyer exits the building.

Gweneth Paltrow was recently criticized for being out of touch with the economic conditions of others as she would make overpriced suggestions for purchases and treatments on her Goop site.  Since Tracy Anderson is her trainer, I'm willing to bet Tracy acquired advice from GP about how to price her pants AND that GP owns a pair.

French Women Don't Get Fat: Revisiting Mireille Guiliano's Book

Two years ago I read this book and loved it.  I enjoyed reading it and the ideas and attitudes it represented towards eating.  I recently picked it back up during a nice bubble bath and ended up wanted to drown my copy of it and then light it on fire.

Do you know those women that are really good at insulting you as you sip coffee together or saying things that make them seem so much better than you, but you don't realize it until the conversation is over and you're driving home getting furious as you replay the conversation in your mind?  Older women are very good at this if they acquire the skill.  European women are EXTREMELY good at this at an earlier age  - or at least that has been my experience.  Their fancy accents must throw me off and I think that they say rude things such as "You're legs are very round" or "You're buttocks is big" due to their lack of english speaking experience.  Later, I realize that I shouldn't have given them the benefit of the doubt as they use words such as "impeccable", "vivacious", and "conceptual"...clearly showing mastery of english.  Those bitches...they're much smarter than me.

But anyway, Mireille Guiliano is one of those women.

Upon our little revisit, I opened her book and became furious and snarky.  I couldn't help it - I had to grab a pen and start writing in the margins.  I was translating her old-lady-insult-language into what she is actually saying for all of us simpleton American women...and now may I present to you the translations for your benefit...

fat isn't funny's translation of French Women Don't Get Fat

...or at least parts of it

Today we shall cover Chapter 8: Liquid Assets.  Mireille writes about the importance of water and how Americans do not get enough, but French people do.  Please read with an aristocratic accent in your head, whatever that sounds like to you.  For me it is always a nasally British accent with my nose in the air and half-closed eyes...I wish I knew of others, but it's my go-to accent for pretending to be an aristocratic, smug person that is good at being condescending.

pg. 156:  About her coworkers:  "But rarely do I see any of them at the water cooler, the proverbial American gathering point for goofing off." 

FIF Translation:  The Water Cooler Discussions do not happen since you all do not drink enough water.  That saying is a lie, therefore you are all liars.


"The contrast with our Paris headquarters couldn't be more stark.  Each day a one-liter bottle of water is distributed to each office and cubicle, and if that's not enough (and it isn't!), there's a room always filled with them, where anyone can go to get more.  When we have meetings, bottles are set up all over the conference room."

FIF Translation:  Each day a water fairy drops little bottles of love in our PARIS office.  It's just one big effing water Utopia.


pg. 157 On growing up in France:  "Everyone starts the day with a glass of water.  At every meal, there is always a big bottle of mineral water on the table.  People help themselves throughout the day - and  it isn't kept in the fridge."

FIF Translation:  It is just one big water orgy of health here, especially compared to your drought of health and culture.  Water in the refrigerator? Pew-pew, silly Americans.


pg. 158  On the taste of water:  "In case you were wondering, American mineral waters are considered bland.  Could this hint at why almost two-thirds of the population is chronically dehydrated?  Perhaps, but it surely must explain in part why we import so much water not only from France and Italy, but from dozens of other countries.  It amuses me in American restaurants to be routinely offered water from Fiji - an 'artesian' variety."

FIF Translation:  We French have sophisticated palates, and considering Fiji water as "artesian"?  Hysterical!  I would also quote the Water Boy movie here by saying, " Your water sucks, it really really sucks!", but I lack all humor unless it involves natural yogurt that I culture myself...the shapes of the raisins I like to put in mine can be very silly looking sometimes...I sometimes can see little faces in them.  I can catch details such as this because my brain is hydrated...unlike yours.


pg. 160  On when coffee is served:  "In France, coffee is usually reserved for breakfast and the end of a meal.  We don't drink it all day long as some Americans do; that's an awful habit."

FIF Translation:  You are uncivilized savage beasts.


On tea salons in France:  "While I do notice more tea salons (black tea), I fear their job is mainly to lure tourists looking for another place to eat pastry!" <insert smug laugh>

FIF Translation:  We French business owners outsmart the fat and foolish swarms of foreigners everytime.


pg. 161 More on growing up in France:  "In my home, we were all addicted to herbal teas."

FIF Translation:  As opposed to American children fancying spoons of marshmallow cream.  I believe that herbal teas would be the equivalent to no flavor added rice cakes to American children.  May I reiterate, we French have sophisticated palates.


Continuing her spiel on tea and being a child:  "Sometimes we'd concoct our own aromatic blends and bundle them into sachets, alongside which the bleached supermarket teabags of today seem pathetically sterile and inert."

FIF Translation:  You can try to duplicate my rich experiences, but you will fail unless your teabag is made of 100% finely laced antique silk that has aged through heavy use for at least 75 years.



Well, I guess that pretty much covers Chapter 8: Liquid Assets.  There are a lot of good points made on water's behalf, but I just wasn't feelin' it when I opened it up again.  Perhaps when I read it again I was in an ill-mood due to dehydration.

Thinking Out Loud Session: An Exercise in Priorities and Meaning

-2.8 pounds, down to 166.0...but who cares?

This last week has been a bit of a wake up call.  We lost a friend this week.  Funny how death makes everything else in life look so pointless and trivial.  Weight loss?  Who cares.  Career problems?  Who cares.  Remembering the loved one, honoring them the best we know how, and dealing with the loss by making every moment count with the people around us is suddenly the priority.

It is a reminder of priorities.  Making every moment count with the people around us should ALWAYS be a priority.  If it isn't, we need to make some adjustments.  If we are failing to fully live, we need to make some adjustments.  These adjustments can be made immediately...they do not have to wait until Monday, or the first of the next month.

And then comes the analysis of what it means to live fully, and make every moment count.  What does this mean to you?  To fully live...

1. Cherish people around you, even ones you don't necessarily get along with.  We are in this together.  Try to connect.  Be able to go to sleep each night with the ease of knowing that you loved your loved ones and were even nice to the A-holes in your life...afterall, you may be the jerkface in the his/her life, and perhaps you can break the cycle with each small connection - even if it's just a smile and a "hello".  Maybe it will eventually stack up and you will no longer be mutual A-holes.  It's worth a shot.

2.  Follow your passion.  Do not rob the world of what you have to offer.  Do not let things hold you back.  Keep moving.  Keep going forward even when the odds are not in your favor.  Who says we have to be perfect at what we love to do?  Play guitar, write, draw, paint, plan, knit, craft, clean, exercise, play with Tonka trucks, go to car shows, garden, play games, do puzzles, laugh, tell jokes, sing, whistle, build things, talk to your pets!  Passions do not need to be a serious endeavor - they are what you ultimately enjoy and sets your soul free.  Wherever your passion lies, go there.  Do it, and by all means, have fun.  Chances are it will make you happier and this happiness will be paid forward to someone else without any effort.  It may make someone else's day with what you have done, or the simple improvement of your mood may make someone else's day improve.

There are more, but I want to get to the point of this - after we analyze what it means to live fully according to our own personalities and drives, the "trivial" things creep in and don't seem so trivial anymore.

After all, why are Samm and I doing this blog?  Why are we wanting to lose weight and improve our health?  Because it is supportive to what it means to us to live fully.  We want the chance to be around to enjoy our loved ones and each other longer if that is a possibility.  We want to pursue our passions and see them through as much as we can while we are here.  Suddenly the weight loss thing isn't as trivial as what it first appears.  It is not pointless.  It would mean we wouldn't have health working against us, but for us in order to pursue life. 

All grieving is not created equal.  We experience it's depths differently, and the meaning of the loss is different according to our interpretations and relations.  I'm not saying that after this post I'm going to be all "YeeHaw for Weight Loss" and immediately renewed.  It's not about that.  It's just about finding meaning to our everyday pursuits and re-evaluating priorities.  This is my scramble for meaning, and I hope that by sharing this it somehow helps those who are hurting more than I can imagine for their loss of a loved one.  Love to all.