Fort Clog

http://www.indianasnewscenter.com/news/local/Fort-Wayne-Comes-In-Second-For-Most-Likely-To-Clog-Your-Arteries-134796093.html


...but at least we're optimistic!

What is it about Fort Wayne that makes the second place city for clogging our arteries?

Here are a some things Fort Wayne has stacked against it:

Lack of sidewalks and bike lanes
Abundance of chain restaurants
Lack of great public transportation
WEATHER!

Any of these things is not a great determining factor in and of itself, but when put together they pack a punch!  Instead of focusing on these negatives though, I'd like to point out some great things I've noticed about Fort Wayne.  Such as:

The Rivergreenway which is ever-expanding;

the amazing people who live there that continuously inspire others with the lives they live;

(for me, these people are especially Dana and Dawn, but there are countless others!  I am in awe of you!)

And also our dear Samm, who quite smoking this year, currently lives in the supposed clog-forming city of Fort Wayne (I have yet to master this though I now live in a "healthy" city).

Fort Wayne is changing for the better, and this little study just shows that the city structure needs to change in order to support its citizens better.  We could focus on the negative, but we are optimists!

*Someday there will be a city layout that allows people to easily get around the city without a car, whether by foot, by bike, and aided by an improved city transportation system.

*Someday there will be an more restaurants that focus more on the food quality (healthy,local, organic) rather than the quantity, and more options for buying locally grown, and organic foods that are convenient and reasonable (Trader Joes too!).

*As for the weather, well, Fort Wayne does not yet own a weather machine as featured on a Smurf episode, but know that when other people around the country complain about their weather by saying, "If you don't like the weather in (insert city or state here), just wait five minutes", they have no idea what they are talking about.  :) 

P90X in P.I.N.K.?

Did you happen to catch Dr. Phil today?  He featured a new diet and exercise program called the "P.I.N.K Method" for the full hour.

It seems that the whole thing can be summed up as P90X for women...because women all like the color pink, especially on sets that look like back alleys or the set of a porn shot in an industrial park.  The barbie pink bubble letters in a street art style make me feel right at home.

So their whole marketing gimmick is a copy of another one...but the color pink adds that touch of femininity that makes women feel like, "Heck yeah - I'll be wearing bedazzled rhinestone pink g-strings that show over my skinny jeans in no time!"

Okay, so maybe I'm being harsh.  If it helps people feel confident and get healthy, what's the harm?

I have done a little research about it - here's what P.I.N.K. stands for:
P - Power
I - Intensity
N - Nutrition
K - Kardio?...Cardio.

I really hate that when people do that with Cs and Ks...but whatever...if I start complaining about that, I'll be that much closer to turning into Andy Rooney.  I better choose my battles wisely.  Afterall, maybe they were just simply trying to make people feel more comfortable.  Since they are all fit, thin, and the type of women other women are 'supposed to hate', they have to show some flaws in order to make others feel comfortable.  What better way than bad spelling showing a sign of poor intellect?  Genius, laddys, simply genis!

Here's a clip from YouTube about the P.I.N.K. Method:

The kit is $67.99 if you pay in one payment (saving 15%), or two payments of $39.99.

The biggest red flag that came up during the Dr. Phil Show was that the creator, Cynthia Pasquella, made the claim that it will get rid of cellulite completely.  She said it did for her.  Don't you dare tease me, Cynthia.  There is no cure for cellulite - you can minimize the appearance of it, but to say that it gets rid of it completely is a red flag statement.

So, maybe this will be a big hit, or maybe it will be a quick-to-go fad in the market of weight loss products and systems.  There's going to be people who have great success with it, and there are going to be people who do not.  Anything that helps one get exercising is a good thing, I'm not going to rain on anyone's parade if they try this out.  If it works, it works, and that's great!

However, I'm never going to love the color pink being shoved down my throat due to gender norms, and I probably will never feel comfortable in an environment that reminds me of a cheap porn set.

Barbara Is A Goal-Making Guru!

Somehow, some way, I have not completely ruined the progress.  I have gained 1.6 pounds, and I am now at 167.6.  Not as bad as what I thought it could be...(I was imagining 20).

As you can tell, a lifetime spent of going mostly up on the scale and rarely ever down has messed with my head.  I am out of tune with my own body.  If you told me that I weighed 50 pounds more, I would believe you.  I am out of touch with weight and what I feel like...especially since I've been ignoring exercise and eating mindfully for about a month now.

I don't really know what my weight goal even should be.  I have "wobbly bits" that I would like to get rid of, and the cellulite fairy definitely has blessed me with all sorts of fun celestial designs.  I feel as though I will know my goal when I reach it, which I'm thinking will be around 150.  I will not be defeated by a number though - in the grand scheme of living, who cares?  As long as I feel good, energetic, healthy, happy, balanced, I wouldn't care if the scale told me 350.

 Somehow, someday, somewhere we shall all feel amazing and healthy in our own skins.  There's a place for us - we'll be in tune with our health and bodies.  We all need hope for whatever we are needing or wanting from life.  Oh, dear friends, this is to you! hahahaha!  Enjoy the laugh and/or singing this loudly at your computer screens!

As Barbara sings, perhaps I will answer those questions...

Somehow:  Exercising 5 days a week however and whenever I want (including Dance Central!woohoo) and feel more connected.

Someday:  I shall set a bit of a goal right now - lose ten pounds by January 12th (birthday present to myself) in hopes of feeling more energetic, healthy, connected and confident.

Somewhere:  I shall climb the overlooking hills over Portland and throw my arms up in Rocky style celebration.

How would you answer those questions for your goals, whatever they may be?  You may have been knocked down before too, but forget about that nasty self-talk that many of us are so good at.  Let's do this!  Who knew Barbara was such a goal-making guru?

We Have a Blog?

Oh my goodness, WE SUCK!!!

hahahahahahaha!

Okay, to say that I've been disciplined and got back on the wagon right after my last post would be false, false, and false.  It's safe to say, I've had other things "on my plate" (see how I snuck that little stupid joke in?...).  Anyway, I've been crazily working on new artworks, website stuff, working and LIFE.  Well, I've been quite foolish about health lately, and I don't want a kick in the ass that is punishing before I get back on the damn wagon. 

SOOOOO, in the meantime...do you have any pumpkin pie left?  Apple?....

Again, let me remind myself - I do NOT want a big kick in the ass to get me back on track.  Meaning, I do not want to somehow gain 40 pounds in over night for 100 nights straight becoming some medical mystery.  I do not want my left butt cheek to come down with a case of elephantitis.  I will say, if any of that were to happen, hopefully I would laugh and make dumb jokes about it, but seriously, I do not want a huge slap in the face saying, "GET HEALTHY!"  I think right now, that's where I'm heading if I keep ignoring this blog and our quest to get healthy.

Speaking of ignoring, I've been ignoring the scale.  Not that the scale should be the only determining factor of this whole thing, but it certainly keeps me honest.  I've hidden it under the sink and haven't looked at it for weeks now.  This will end tomorrow.  I'll be weighing myself to see how bad the damage is.  Hopefully it is not too too bad...

We're all ok.

Since quitting smoking, almost 5 months ago, my clothes have taken on minds of their own.  My sweaters have become somewhat deceiving, my button-downs somewhat estranged, and my jeans - my jeans have become downright bitches.

Since I quit smoking, my clothes have all shrunk.

I don't know how it happened.  One day, I was happily puffing on a cancer stick, oblivious to the repercussions of abruptly throwing in the towel and the next I was 15 pounds heavier.

This photo

is a bit of a celebratory photo.  I don't care how much I've lost since starting this blog.

In fact, I've gained about 15 pounds.  Fat isn't funny, but neither is constant stressing about weight.

15 pounds.  That's a lot.  But when I start to think about the weight of the world - it's really nothing.

15 pounds.  It's life and death for a supermodel.  Thankfully, I've never been a supermodel.

15 pounds.  How many botox injections is 15 pounds?  I've never had one.

15 pounds.  It's worth a lot more in the United Kingdom than it is in the United States right now.

15 pounds.  It's insignificant.  Especially if I choose to focus on the rest of me.

We don't do that enough.  We focus on the small percentage of ourselves that didn't live up to the expectation we place on ourselves when we're excited about change and wonder where we went wrong.  Perhaps we go wrong when we expect ourselves to be perfect.

We're human, and while I'm not making excuses for my gaining weight after quitting smoking - I am acknowledging that I am just that - human.

And I'm happy to be me.

Fiercely Fighting Flab!

Fierce, right?  Yeah, well this is my action pose response to the war on the flabby.  Tyra would be elated...somewhat smizing?  Maybe just a little?

Okay, so maybe I'm not exactly photogenically gifted, but you get the idea, don't you?  I have lost some weight - still around 10 pounds lost so far.  I have also been sick for the last two weeks and now am finally feeling better.  It's good to have some energy back, now it's about spending it wisely.

I'm getting back on track.  I was inspired today when one of my best friends called me and told me that she joined the Weight Watcher's online program earlier this week.  I'm excited for her and I know that I needed a little kick in my arse to get going again.  So I am.  (Thank you, girlfriend O' mine, you know who you are!)  PS - Samm is doing the WW online thing too now!

Beginning tomorrow I will be back to the Tracy Anderson cardio dance and mat workout.  HOORAY!  In all honesty, I have missed it tremendously.  I am no longer "Consuela" - I found a different job and now need that exercise to be found outside of my work.  I am back to planning for it, and so Tracy Anderson's workouts are the answer once again.  I'm looking forward to spinning around like the Tazmanian Devil and jumping nonstop as if I've had a case of Red Bull.  Oh yes.  I'm back on the fighting flabby bandwagon...with FIERCEness.

I'm going to follow Tracy's recommendations this time by doing both dvd's at least 5 times per week.  I feel that I have worked up to that now and my body can handle it.  SOOOooo, it will be not quite 2 hours of workout for 5 days a week.  It sounds like A LOT, but really 10 hours out of 168 hours in a week is a small sacrifice when it comes to putting more time on our life clocks.

Coughing Burns Calories! Bring on the Pizza!

I cannot deny that it has been quite awhile since we last posted...we've both been dealing with the sickness that's going around.  Samm and I may be in different parts of the country, but our lives often correlate.  Amazing how we always manage to do that, but here we are and both of us have been sick for a week or more.

I have managed to forget about weight loss during this time, though I have kept an eye on my weight.  I'm staying strong at 166 - I guess my body has established a plateau of some sort.  I've been eating whatever my appetite has instructed...I'm not about to deny it pizza if that is what it wants.  I'm sick!  That's my excuse!  I already ate an apple and some orange juice today, so that is more than enough to make up for it.  Right?  Right!

I've never been one of those people who come back from being sick and are down ten pounds.  One of my good friends in high school had mono for a ridiculously long time our junior or sophmore year.  It went on for definitely a month.  I can't say I wasn't jealous.  To not have an appetite would be such a relief. 

I've always thought of the people who lose weight while being sick as the lucky ones.  I could be exploding for a week long and the scale will not quiver in the least.  The number will not change easily in either direction...maybe that's because I am still eating and allow myself the freedom of choice...
Ice cream for dinner?  Why not?  I'm sick!  Never ending shrimp?  Why not?!  I'm sick!  It's the perfect excuse to indulge. 

Oh!  Gotta go!  The pizza's here!

Spandex for $145.00! How Tracy Has Lost Her Mind in a Big 80s Way

I heard that Tracy Anderson was going to have a online chat session today on a Metamorphosis forum to answer questions from the masses about the program.  Out of curiousity, I went to the Metamorphosis website and began looking for the forum.  As always, I got sidetracked with other fancy links and saw that she was selling a few items of apparrel.  This is my finding.

$145.00

REALLY?  Perhaps she is a bit out of touch with economics.  Perhaps they are made of mysterious fibers that remove cellulite?  No...they are made of polymaid and spandex.  Also, aren't they a bit Big 80s in design?...I think I remember WWF wrestlers like Macho Man or The Hulk wearing similarly patterned pants, but what do I know about fashion?  Then I found this.

$25.99

80s Heavy Metal Rocker Halloween Costume

Includes:  Not only the pants, but also 2 scarves and a necktie

Proof positive that I haven't lost my mind...they are Big 80s and overpriced.  Just sayin'.  Not to mention that the Halloween hot pants cover the entirety of both legs instead of only upper legs, hence using more fabric.  It's all about value, people...

Though I'm willing to bet that at Kmart stores around the country there are random pairs of pants similar to this that have been in circulation on the clearance racks since the 80s that no one wants to buy.  They may be the running store joke and are priced for $.80.  The cashiers are waiting for a person to bring them up to the counter so they may all cheer out loudly and laugh wildly as the lucky buyer exits the building.

Gweneth Paltrow was recently criticized for being out of touch with the economic conditions of others as she would make overpriced suggestions for purchases and treatments on her Goop site.  Since Tracy Anderson is her trainer, I'm willing to bet Tracy acquired advice from GP about how to price her pants AND that GP owns a pair.

French Women Don't Get Fat: Revisiting Mireille Guiliano's Book

Two years ago I read this book and loved it.  I enjoyed reading it and the ideas and attitudes it represented towards eating.  I recently picked it back up during a nice bubble bath and ended up wanted to drown my copy of it and then light it on fire.

Do you know those women that are really good at insulting you as you sip coffee together or saying things that make them seem so much better than you, but you don't realize it until the conversation is over and you're driving home getting furious as you replay the conversation in your mind?  Older women are very good at this if they acquire the skill.  European women are EXTREMELY good at this at an earlier age  - or at least that has been my experience.  Their fancy accents must throw me off and I think that they say rude things such as "You're legs are very round" or "You're buttocks is big" due to their lack of english speaking experience.  Later, I realize that I shouldn't have given them the benefit of the doubt as they use words such as "impeccable", "vivacious", and "conceptual"...clearly showing mastery of english.  Those bitches...they're much smarter than me.

But anyway, Mireille Guiliano is one of those women.

Upon our little revisit, I opened her book and became furious and snarky.  I couldn't help it - I had to grab a pen and start writing in the margins.  I was translating her old-lady-insult-language into what she is actually saying for all of us simpleton American women...and now may I present to you the translations for your benefit...

fat isn't funny's translation of French Women Don't Get Fat

...or at least parts of it

Today we shall cover Chapter 8: Liquid Assets.  Mireille writes about the importance of water and how Americans do not get enough, but French people do.  Please read with an aristocratic accent in your head, whatever that sounds like to you.  For me it is always a nasally British accent with my nose in the air and half-closed eyes...I wish I knew of others, but it's my go-to accent for pretending to be an aristocratic, smug person that is good at being condescending.

pg. 156:  About her coworkers:  "But rarely do I see any of them at the water cooler, the proverbial American gathering point for goofing off." 

FIF Translation:  The Water Cooler Discussions do not happen since you all do not drink enough water.  That saying is a lie, therefore you are all liars.


"The contrast with our Paris headquarters couldn't be more stark.  Each day a one-liter bottle of water is distributed to each office and cubicle, and if that's not enough (and it isn't!), there's a room always filled with them, where anyone can go to get more.  When we have meetings, bottles are set up all over the conference room."

FIF Translation:  Each day a water fairy drops little bottles of love in our PARIS office.  It's just one big effing water Utopia.


pg. 157 On growing up in France:  "Everyone starts the day with a glass of water.  At every meal, there is always a big bottle of mineral water on the table.  People help themselves throughout the day - and  it isn't kept in the fridge."

FIF Translation:  It is just one big water orgy of health here, especially compared to your drought of health and culture.  Water in the refrigerator? Pew-pew, silly Americans.


pg. 158  On the taste of water:  "In case you were wondering, American mineral waters are considered bland.  Could this hint at why almost two-thirds of the population is chronically dehydrated?  Perhaps, but it surely must explain in part why we import so much water not only from France and Italy, but from dozens of other countries.  It amuses me in American restaurants to be routinely offered water from Fiji - an 'artesian' variety."

FIF Translation:  We French have sophisticated palates, and considering Fiji water as "artesian"?  Hysterical!  I would also quote the Water Boy movie here by saying, " Your water sucks, it really really sucks!", but I lack all humor unless it involves natural yogurt that I culture myself...the shapes of the raisins I like to put in mine can be very silly looking sometimes...I sometimes can see little faces in them.  I can catch details such as this because my brain is hydrated...unlike yours.


pg. 160  On when coffee is served:  "In France, coffee is usually reserved for breakfast and the end of a meal.  We don't drink it all day long as some Americans do; that's an awful habit."

FIF Translation:  You are uncivilized savage beasts.


On tea salons in France:  "While I do notice more tea salons (black tea), I fear their job is mainly to lure tourists looking for another place to eat pastry!" <insert smug laugh>

FIF Translation:  We French business owners outsmart the fat and foolish swarms of foreigners everytime.


pg. 161 More on growing up in France:  "In my home, we were all addicted to herbal teas."

FIF Translation:  As opposed to American children fancying spoons of marshmallow cream.  I believe that herbal teas would be the equivalent to no flavor added rice cakes to American children.  May I reiterate, we French have sophisticated palates.


Continuing her spiel on tea and being a child:  "Sometimes we'd concoct our own aromatic blends and bundle them into sachets, alongside which the bleached supermarket teabags of today seem pathetically sterile and inert."

FIF Translation:  You can try to duplicate my rich experiences, but you will fail unless your teabag is made of 100% finely laced antique silk that has aged through heavy use for at least 75 years.



Well, I guess that pretty much covers Chapter 8: Liquid Assets.  There are a lot of good points made on water's behalf, but I just wasn't feelin' it when I opened it up again.  Perhaps when I read it again I was in an ill-mood due to dehydration.

Thinking Out Loud Session: An Exercise in Priorities and Meaning

-2.8 pounds, down to 166.0...but who cares?

This last week has been a bit of a wake up call.  We lost a friend this week.  Funny how death makes everything else in life look so pointless and trivial.  Weight loss?  Who cares.  Career problems?  Who cares.  Remembering the loved one, honoring them the best we know how, and dealing with the loss by making every moment count with the people around us is suddenly the priority.

It is a reminder of priorities.  Making every moment count with the people around us should ALWAYS be a priority.  If it isn't, we need to make some adjustments.  If we are failing to fully live, we need to make some adjustments.  These adjustments can be made immediately...they do not have to wait until Monday, or the first of the next month.

And then comes the analysis of what it means to live fully, and make every moment count.  What does this mean to you?  To fully live...

1. Cherish people around you, even ones you don't necessarily get along with.  We are in this together.  Try to connect.  Be able to go to sleep each night with the ease of knowing that you loved your loved ones and were even nice to the A-holes in your life...afterall, you may be the jerkface in the his/her life, and perhaps you can break the cycle with each small connection - even if it's just a smile and a "hello".  Maybe it will eventually stack up and you will no longer be mutual A-holes.  It's worth a shot.

2.  Follow your passion.  Do not rob the world of what you have to offer.  Do not let things hold you back.  Keep moving.  Keep going forward even when the odds are not in your favor.  Who says we have to be perfect at what we love to do?  Play guitar, write, draw, paint, plan, knit, craft, clean, exercise, play with Tonka trucks, go to car shows, garden, play games, do puzzles, laugh, tell jokes, sing, whistle, build things, talk to your pets!  Passions do not need to be a serious endeavor - they are what you ultimately enjoy and sets your soul free.  Wherever your passion lies, go there.  Do it, and by all means, have fun.  Chances are it will make you happier and this happiness will be paid forward to someone else without any effort.  It may make someone else's day with what you have done, or the simple improvement of your mood may make someone else's day improve.

There are more, but I want to get to the point of this - after we analyze what it means to live fully according to our own personalities and drives, the "trivial" things creep in and don't seem so trivial anymore.

After all, why are Samm and I doing this blog?  Why are we wanting to lose weight and improve our health?  Because it is supportive to what it means to us to live fully.  We want the chance to be around to enjoy our loved ones and each other longer if that is a possibility.  We want to pursue our passions and see them through as much as we can while we are here.  Suddenly the weight loss thing isn't as trivial as what it first appears.  It is not pointless.  It would mean we wouldn't have health working against us, but for us in order to pursue life. 

All grieving is not created equal.  We experience it's depths differently, and the meaning of the loss is different according to our interpretations and relations.  I'm not saying that after this post I'm going to be all "YeeHaw for Weight Loss" and immediately renewed.  It's not about that.  It's just about finding meaning to our everyday pursuits and re-evaluating priorities.  This is my scramble for meaning, and I hope that by sharing this it somehow helps those who are hurting more than I can imagine for their loss of a loved one.  Love to all.