The Diet Police

It’s inevitable – you let it slip that you’re watching what you eat and then all of the sudden everyone around you is a dietective on the fricking food patrol.  Let anything other than a baby carrot or a water bottle in the vicinity of your lips and it starts:

“Oh, is THAT on your diet?” 

“How many Twizzlers IS that?”

These people are a-holes, plain and simple.  They question under the guise of trying to help us reach our weight-loss and fitness goals, but in actuality they’re trying to question our will power and chances of success.

“Why, yes, Rhonda, I can actually eat pretty much anything on my “diet” 

(use the air quotes just so Rhonda knows you’re serious).  It’s all about eating in moderation.  Now it's my turn to ask a question.  When do you think was the last time your stonewashed jean shorts were in fashion?” Then tilt your head, purse your lips, and wait for a response.

It’ll be the last time Rhonda asks if such-and-such is on your diet.

Just as bad are the people who start watching what they eat and automatically assume that everyone around them should adopt their new eating regimen.

“We can’t go to _____ - there won’t be anything I can eat.”

“Do you know how bad fried chicken is for you?”

Fifteen suggestions later and there’s still no decision on an establishment that can accommodate a vegan who has an allergy to nuts, legumes, gluten, whole grains, AND fun.

“Tell you what, Rhonda.  Go ahead and eat at home and maybe we can all meet up later.”

The lesson here is very simple – mind your own business, do what’s best for you at the time, and we’ll all get along.  Well, all of us except for me and Rhonda.